


Breaking Point

by Zaniida



Series: MCU Oneshots [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: (that's not the same as family-friendly), Bargaining, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Galaxy-friendly, Gen, Helplessness, Implied/Referenced Brainwashing, Implied/Referenced Torture, Inevitability, Mind Manipulation, Past Torture, Some fates are worse than death, Thanos did promise him, various shades of fear and despair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-09 06:44:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18911656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zaniida/pseuds/Zaniida
Summary: Note:Slightly updated the wording in a few places (like 70 words or so).The trickster’s gaze seems fixed on Thanos’s face, helplessly captivated, as Thanos draws him inexorably forward.“So eager to return to the fold,” Thanos murmurs.  “I did promise you pain, I suppose… and I should not like to be known as one who goes back on my word.”“No,” Loki whispers, a thin and desperate prayer.  "Please, no."“This time,” Thanos says, smiling, “I think I’ll be a little more careful how thoroughly I break you.”





	Breaking Point

**Author's Note:**

  * For [100indecisions](https://archiveofourown.org/users/100indecisions/gifts).



> Hey, **100indecisions** , I hope this fic is something that appeals to you, and I didn't peg your interests too far off. Mostly I just hunted through the darker fics I've been reading over the past few months, especially with ambiguous endings, then narrowed the list to include those who've posted in the past year and to exclude those who almost certainly will get a more specific gift fic in the near future (that is, those whose fics have _directly_ inspired some upcoming projects of mine).
> 
> [I will kiss you till your breath is found](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16319552/chapters/38174993) fit the bill, so here you are. Thank you for treating us to such delightfully dark scenarios.
> 
>  **Note:** A quick look through wikis says that Ebony Maw doesn't seem to have the kind of powers that let him read minds, alter memories, and shape consciousnesses. The Other's got some of that, but by this point he's dead. The Mind Stone could do that, but Thanos doesn't have it yet. However, I totally wanted that in this scene, as that's how I originally envisioned it, and Ebony Maw standing around talking Loki into doing things (like explaining his true intentions) seems less effective (though a thing I might toy around with later). Ergo, mind powers! The creep got a little creepier.
> 
>  **ETA:** I'm still waffling over the tears. I went back over the scene with him and his mom in TDW, which is one of the scenes with the strongest quiet emotion from him, and he's blinking a lot, fighting tears and other emotions and trying not to show them. I tried to work in extra blinking here, but every time I tried to word it, it wasn't working, especially since Thor is far enough away that he wouldn't perceive "blinking back tears" as a thing, just the blinks themselves. So I ended up adding escaped tears (Thor noticing the tracks, reflecting light) when Loki is the most terrified and thus the least in control of his reactions, and "blinking back tears" when he's close to Thor.
> 
> I mean, I love having characters who generally don't cry end up showing tears for particularly emotional moments, and Loki _already_ is known to cry, a lot, in canon. Tom Hiddleston is just great at having tears leak out at all the right moments, adding nuance to the portrayal of what Loki is feeling and how much lies hidden under the surface. So it seems reasonable for him to cry here. If you've got an argument for this to be uncharacteristic, given these circumstances and what Loki is trying to do here, by all means make such argument in the comments section; I'd love to hear what you think, and am open to amending this yet again.

Four seconds. It’s an eternity, as Thor watches his brother stand with head bowed, trembling with tension. As Thor realizes that Loki is about to stab Thanos—and that if Thor can see it coming, from all the way over here, then Thanos must certainly see it coming as well.

A thousand years of shared combat, and Thor has never seen Loki give away the game this way. His brother is unpredictable—the very soul of chaos—and, when he wants to be, effortlessly graceful, in a way no Aesir warrior could match; from one second to the next, Loki can shift targets, change the direction of his attack so readily that his victim is still defending the wrong angle when the true blow lands.

And yet, here, the move is… obvious. Pointless.

Can it be as simple as fear? Is Loki too terrified to disguise his true intentions?

Or does he _mean_ to be stopped?

Four seconds, wherein Loki takes a breath and gathers himself, and when the dagger darts up Thanos stops it easily with the power of the Space Stone. Holding Loki’s trembling arm, the Titan smiles down at him, an amused and indulgent god. A moment later, a sudden cry of pain from Loki, and the dagger is thrown free.

The trickster’s gaze seems fixed on Thanos’s face, almost a thrall, helplessly captivated by his master. As Thanos draws him inexorably forward, the terror and despair fade away; there’s no wild struggle to get free, just Loki half surrendering to the inevitable.

For a brief second, as the Gauntlet comes up, Thor thinks it’s heading straight for his brother’s throat. But before he can even cry out, there’s a shift, and Thanos’s metal fingers are brushing tenderly down Loki’s temple, cradling the side of his face. Loki’s eyes go wide, the calm shattering.

“So eager to return to the fold,” Thanos murmurs. “I did promise you pain, I suppose… and I should not like to be known as one who goes back on my word.”

“No,” Loki whispers, a thin and desperate prayer.

“This time,” Thanos says, smiling, “I think I’ll be a little more careful how thoroughly I break you.”

“Please, no.” The plea is barely more than a breath, and utterly devoid of any sense of hope; his face is pale and stricken, and the light of blue electric fire reflects off the track of silent tears down his cheek.

Not for the first time, Thor wonders what horrors Loki is recalling—what exactly they did to break him the first time. He strains against his metal prison, but he can’t break free, can’t rush to pull his brother loose, defend him against the specters of his past.

He’s had his chances to help Loki. Many of them. At the time, he saw only the surface level, never thinking to dig deeper. For a while, he’d believed his brother to be a mass-murderer who breathed only lies and had never actually loved him. He knows better, now, but it’s far too late to correct the decisions that have led them here.

But Loki’s gaze flits over to him, and there’s the slightest furrow to his brow, quickly suppressed. In the space of two breaths, Loki’s panic has faded, his fear brought under control; he’s gathered himself, and Thor’s stomach clenches with sudden apprehension to see his brother’s face so resolute.

“Let Thor go,” Loki says to Thanos, with every appearance of calm. “Let him go, let Asgard live, and…” A bare moment’s hesitation, the slightest tremor of his jaw, a tightening around the eyes—and then the fatal words: “I’ll stop fighting you.”

Thor’s muffled scream of protest goes ignored, and all his struggles can’t budge his mangled cage enough to do any good. Loki’s gaze stays firmly on Thanos’s face, but his fingers twitch, and Thor knows him enough to be well familiar with the nervous tic he's suppressing.

Staring down at his onetime servant, Thanos raises an eyebrow, his expression wavering between interest and skepticism. “Even more daring than the dagger,” he muses. “Of course, I can have you either way; it’s just a matter of how much pain you can endure before you break.”

“And how much time you have,” Loki contends, “now that you’ve set things in motion. You wouldn’t have taken the first Stone if you didn’t have a plan to grab the rest. Already there are forces moving to stop you; perhaps they won’t be enough, but they might.

“You had me for a year. And your greatest torments couldn’t force me to hand you Midgard, no matter how often you tipped me over the edge into death and then brought me back.” There’s a wild, manic quality in Loki’s eyes now; he’s all but panting, his words spilling out like water. “There was always a part of me fighting you off. But you know my skills. You know full well what I could be. The ways you could mold me to do your will. I’m yours, and I’ll stop resisting, just…”

Thor's "No!" is barely a moan, as Loki’s brows draw tight, as his eyes squeeze shut.

“Just let Thor live,” Loki says. “ _Please_ ,” he adds, the desperation tinged with resignation, the awareness that the results are out of his hands.

Slipping one purple finger under Loki’s chin, Thanos lifts it, forcing Loki to look at him again; he hums lightly, considering. “I seem to recall your brotherly affection to be rather lacking, last time,” he says. “Let us see how drastically that has changed while you’ve been away.”

As if responding to a silent command, the odd, thin, noseless one lifts his chin and steps forward to just behind Loki. It’s the one who controls Thor’s metal cage, and Thor renews his struggles, hoping that the distraction might weaken the man’s control, but there’s not the slightest amount of give to be found.

Thanos continues to regard Loki’s face as long, slender fingers seize the sides of Loki’s head. Loki stiffens; he’s shaking so hard that Thor can see it even this far away, but any resistance is gone.

Thor wishes he were free to snap the noseless one’s neck. But if all he can do for his brother is bear witness to his sacrifice, then that is what he will do: Though his one remaining eye burns from smoke and tears, he forces himself not to look away, not even to blink.

After a long moment of silence, Loki suddenly collapses forward, taking a breath like a sob. He keeps his feet, but barely.

The noseless one straightens up before Thanos. “Never before have I felt such hate and love for the same person at the same time,” he reports. “And yet, above all else, he fears for his brother’s life. Thor’s life and freedom are far dearer to him than his own, and he believes that the only way to spare him is to submit fully to your cause.”

“Well, then,” Thanos purrs, looking down at Loki’s bowed and unmoving form. “I suppose that’s something I could work with.”

Loki shudders, and his eyes close with a sense of finality.

Thor’s heart aches. He’s lost his brother twice now, and he’s about to lose him again, to something worse than death. Worse than anything they’ve ever faced. And he’s weak enough that he let this happen.

“Rejoice,” the noseless one’s voice rings out. “The glorious work of our Father shall be accomplished all the more rapidly. The salvation of the universe is at hand.”

Nodding dully, Loki takes a breath, and swallows. “Master, might I—”

“‘Master’, is it?” Thanos rumbles.

Loki’s next breath shudders. “ _Father_ ,” he says, his voice breaking on the word. “If it… would please you… might I have the chance to say goodbye?”

Thanos’s smile is, indeed, wholly pleased. “Of course, my son. Do not be overlong.”

Loki nods again, a furrow between his brows, and then he scrambles over toward where Thor is still captive. For a brief moment, Thor feels hope: Perhaps Loki has run this whole gambit just to be given the chance to get close to him, to use his magic—teleport them both to safety. Shield them from some powerful destructive spell.

But Loki simply kneels, and cradles Thor’s head in trembling hands, pressing their foreheads together. “I’m sorry, brother,” he murmurs. “I couldn’t see any other way to save you. And he was always going to remake me; there’s no escaping this. I’ve just spared myself a little of the agony.”

The cutting metal of the gag isn’t the reason that Thor is speechless; he drinks in this closeness, the simple touches they haven’t shared in half a decade. His mind falls back to the day that started it all, the day that everything fell apart: his sundered coronation, and the moment of brotherly affection right before it began. The moment at which everything was already going wrong.

Evidently Loki is thinking along the same lines. “You once claimed that I was incapable of sincerity,” he says. “I know you can’t tell by my words alone, but I hope this is enough that you… that you never doubt the love I held for you.”

His voice drops low and serious: “Because the next time we meet, it won’t be there. Be _careful_ , Thor. All the times we’ve fought before… I’ve never really meant to kill you, never used my full strength on you, any more than you have. But you can’t hold back anymore. I'll be using all my tricks against you, everything I have; don’t treat me with kid gloves. And I'll still know how to get under your skin, so don't believe _anything_ I say.” He swallows, blinking back tears. “All this time… we were so wrong. When I tried to pretend that we weren’t brothers. When you claimed that your brother wasn’t in here anymore. But it’s going to be true, next time. He’ll be gone; you’re never going to see him again.

“This is goodbye, brother. For good. I’m so sorry,” he says, and pulls away, turning back to Thanos.

“My son,” Thanos says, as Loki kneels before him and Thor stares helplessly. “Are you prepared to accept your destiny?”

“Yes, Father,” Loki replies, without hesitation, just a slight twitch of his eyebrows, his lips. “Whatever you desire is yours for the taking.” He smiles, thin and brittle and sharp, and it reaches his eyes, because Loki’s skill at fake emotions is still unparalleled.

“Then rise,” Thanos says, “and let us begin the transformation.”

Tense but unflinching, Loki gets to his feet, and the noseless creature steps up behind him again. Firm fingers press to his temple as the other arm snakes around his arm and torso both; Loki shudders and collapses backwards into the sinister embrace. The fingers on his temple never falter as Thanos raises the gauntlet and opens a portal, whisking them all away.

The metal shards fall away, and Thor collapses, shaking with the force of his grief, the knowledge that the universe is one step closer to being destroyed and that the next time he sees his brother—if the Norns are cruel enough to allow it—it truly will be a fight to the death. One that he cannot afford to lose.

**Author's Note:**

> A new thought occurs: In Mikkeneko's [Cover Up the Sun](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1045554/chapters/3598487), gods are said to have aspects, such that when they are fully embodying their particular aspect, they are filled with nigh limitless energy to accomplish their task, and it is an incredible experience to be that free and that driven with purpose. Thor's is lightning, easily enough, but Loki's is Chaos, and it's not just that Loki is chaotic, but that he is not bound to any particular side because his aspect, his function, is to bring balance between whatever sides are out of balance. In other words, he picks up the side of the Underdog:
>
>> It was his nature to ally with the weaker side of any conflict, to throw in his lot with the losing team in an attempt to even the score - just a little. And while that meant he would very often lose, every now and again he would manage to win despite all the odds, and that victory would be all the sweeter for it.
> 
> Today, it struck me that Thanos, the champion of Balance, might well appreciate being able to have Loki on his side. Even though, technically, Loki would only work in his favor if he's right about the necessity of his work -- but then again, Thanos is pathologically convinced that his work is necessary, and hence he would not for a moment consider that Loki (as agent of _applied_ Chaos) might turn against him at a crucial moment.
> 
> It only works within that concept, of Loki as balancing factor, but it's an intriguing notion.
> 
> * * *
> 
> I really don't think I'll be adding to this one (though, of course, I've been wrong before). However, I would like to take the opportunity to point out that **I am never stingy with my ideas**. Anyone and everyone is welcome to take whatever creative work I have published and to build on it, mess around with it, twist it into odd shapes, turn it into things I never intended and possibly never imagined, and otherwise, well, enjoy the fact that culture builds on culture and fan culture builds on fan culture. I have absolutely no problem with you doing so; in fact, I broadly encourage it!
> 
> (I would certainly love to see what you make from my ideas, but notifying me isn't even a requirement.)
> 
> So if anyone would care to make a piece explaining how Loki gets out of this, or how Thor rescues him or brings him back from the control of The Black Order, or how Black Order Loki defeats/kills/captures Thor, or maybe how Thor and Loki die together in glorious sacrificial combat to preserve the universe, or maybe what happens to Black Order Loki after Thanos dies, or the mental/emotional and physical torments that Loki goes through while being shaped into Black Order Loki (maybe even including memory alteration), any sort of content along those lines, go nuts! I love darkfic in controlled doses, and I enjoy all manner of dramatic scenarios, especially ones with the undercurrent of futile struggle against the inevitable.
> 
> Now that I'm thinking about it, contrasting Black Order Loki (post-Thanos) with normal Loki sounds kinda awesome. Whether or not they manage to bring back normal Loki in some form.


End file.
